DarkKnightAvenger

Ang Huling El Bimbo; The Eraserheads Last Set

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 00:49:31 GMT

I bought a 300 peso ticket meaning I have to be in the back, just to witness this historic moment.. I actually have a budget to score the Php 1,300 tickets but then again I have to accompany a friend who was planning to buy the Php 300 but unfortunately he wasn't able to find a swap for a Saturday off, hence I'm in crappy place but that didn't stop me from enjoying the event..

The crowd is made up of professionals, students, some tambays, students, call centre agents, parents with their kids and of course a throng of celebrities like Ehra Madrigal, Wendell Ramos, Jericho Rosales, Joan Quintas, Buhawi of PNE, Karel Marquez, Anne Curtis, Kat Alano among others..

The rock show started between 815 or 830, the Heads pumped up the crowd with the song 'Magasin', which ironically the same song that made me attached to the band, that was around 1995, I was a graduating elementary student.. Hard to believe that it still sounded good after 14 years.. The crowd of course sang along through the stanzas and of course the chorus..

Being there among the crowd who is some older than I am made me travel in time, the time when I was in highschool where the Heads are in their prime and making records after records and hits after hits.. One memorable portion of the show was when Eli Buendia dedicated part of the show as tribute to their late friend Francis Magalona who died a day before the show(he was suppose to guest and sing the rap part of Super Proxy).. And oh the crowd went nuts when Eli uttered "Tang Ina" during Pare Ko..

Their supposedly last song Ang Huling El Bimbo was one of the best performance I've seen, and yes I've seen a lot of bands play but this tops them all.. Eli burning a replica of a piano remiscent of their Sticker Happy album.. After that the people thought the show was over, the heads came back and sang 3 more songs to the delight of the crowd..

All in all it was a great ending to one of the Greatest Band in OPM HIstory.. Thanks for the Memories Eraserheads..

Fetterd and Abused.. Naked and Accused

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 06:01:34 GMT

Pagodpod, Ilocos Norte and its exotic locales eased off some pain, made me a little stronger but the bitterness is still there, I'm still bothered of the things they've done to me, no one should be put through this.. I mean no one..(read my previous entry) No one deserves no matter how evil they are should experience this.. To quote a song from Incubus' Love Hurts(from the Album Light Grenades):

I'm fettered and abused
I stand naked and accused
Should I surface this one man submarine?

I dont' know if both of them can sleep at night or morning, or be proud of what they've done, on Blaine's(my old 'friend') part I don't know where he gets the gutts to go to the office where almost everybody wants to chop his head off and tear his testicles and feed it to the dogs.. I don't know why Empress still looks at me whenever I pass by her. I admit after all that she said to me(through text msg and through a friend, after all those bad things, I may have despised her a little bit but I still lover her.. How stupid of me.. Things could have been different if that idiot Blaine didn't get involved or it wouldn't hurt this much..

Dammit I still love her after all those things.. Though I don't see the reason why I should push through, I don't see the reason why do I have to keep up to all this craziness.. I don't know if this is normal, all I know is up to now my feelings are real..

Empress Marie Louise Pareja I still love you..

Rather waste my time with you and freakin' Blaine

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 01:17:05 GMT

It was her that put me in the state of nervous breakdown all the month of February, it was him that put me in a downward spiral.. After what I thought a very decent Saint Valentine's Day, all was lost, my hope, my efforts, my sense to push forward.. It was Monday morning when Empress told me my friend Lemuel will be her neighbor, so I politely asked her if I can now her unit number, she told me its a secret then I joked that I'll go Lemuel's place and make harana to her, she was so pissed off after that.. I tried analyzing every possible scenarios in why she was furious at me after that joke, then I came up with one, why can't she tell me that I wasn't the man that she wants, the man she wants to be with.. Later I knew through a friend that she called me a stalker, she told my friend I was scary, i look like a guy who is drunk always, i talk in a high pitch(wtf?) and all the possible bullshit that could have broken a man, she even told my friend that she accepted my gifts(flowers and chocolate) during the Valentines so that I won't be humiliated(because someone tipped her of my suprise, much to my surprise also because the surprise that I was planning is known only to a select few who isn't really talking to her that much since she became close to my "friend"). I told my friend to tell her that to tell it to me straight in my face, a few minutes later in one of my drunken episodes she texted me to back off, she doesn't have to say it to my face, and all the negative bullshit.. I only replied I dare you to tell it straight to my face..

Maybe she's not worth it, eventhough I still love her, and yes I admit that, I'm that crazy and I have to end everything that has happened, close the book and leave.. If she can tell it sraight to my face then fine, at least I am a man that can accept pain.. For her accusations of me being a stalker, I don't know but if I am a stalker I should have followed her around, instead of being drunk last Monday I should be at her apartment, harrassing her.. If was a stalker I could have gotten her number and address during the times I was doing workforce duties a few months ago, if I was a stalker she wouldn't entertainmen me the past few weeks.. I don't know what to say, I don't know if you guys will believe me either.. Probably my one mistake is that when I make hatid to her in the CR and I suddenly felt the urge to pee also, so I peed at the men's bathroom and when I got out she got out also and opened the door(the other door that hides the bathroom to the call center floor) to her..

Blaine on the other hand, was a once a very good friend, until he betrayed me.. He never told me his intentions to her, its ok if he wants to court Empress to but at least I have the right to know, he could have told me like a man and tell him may the best man win, some even told me that she could have respected the fact that he could have given space, since I was "making my move" out of respect.. I never even have enough time to tell her everything I wanted to say because he pops out of nowhere.. A few hours ago, Lemuel texted me that their 'MU' now, Empress can't commit yet while that "traitor" is willing to wait, Blaine never told me that, he was ilang to me and my friends, half of the office hates him because of what he did to me.. Forgive him? Yes, someday.. Friendship over..

Thats Alright Lets Give This Another Try!!!

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:56:01 GMT

Queenie, what the heck she knows it already.. Empress is a ticking timebomb, not because of her physical features but the way she gets along with me.. A few weeks ago we're "hitting it off", getting to know each other better, sharing little bits of information about ourselves.. Heck I even told her I like her because she's smart, nice and intelligent. If she only knew the other facets of how I like her, sense of humor, her enigmatic persona, the way she acts with grace and dignity and all those stuff, she's fun to be with and most of all I like the way she smiles..

All that changed because of one man, my friend Blaine, Blaine in our company was known to be very very close to girls, if Lhaine has a blog she'll document everything that they do heck even Shine, OJ, even Maru I think and the list goes on.. They became very close that one day, one freakin day changed everything.. Before that I can't even talk to her without him popping out of nowhere and getting her attention, that sometimes pissed me off and my good friend "Grand Pa" Arn Arn.. I was frank with my feelings to my friends because thats how I am.. He knows that I have plans to court her but how can I do it, when he pops out of nowhere and bother our moment.. And yeah they went to church together last week, he accompanied him in her "lipat apartment" sessions last Friday.. Everything was destroyed because of him.. WAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Though when I attempted talking to her on Sunday he was the one who told her that she needs to talk to me, to sort things out, which followed a few minutes of uncomfortable silence..

As if we're gonna have a moment after what has happened this past few days, she was kinda cold to me, maybe there was something that I said, which I admit I think it was a bomber, I told her that there are things that I cannot say freely, and I have issues.. Suddenly all I have is the sudden gust of coldness from her, she doesnt smile at me anymore, she wasn't that much of a joker when I'm with her and Blaine.. I know she's not that because when I was the one acted like that, she was so sorry and I don't know, weird right? A good example of her coldness was she doesn't text me anymore, she doesn't even greeted me during our shift if I'm not gonna be the one saying "hi" sometimes she's the one iniating the "hi" part and heck she even told me when I attempted to say sorry(with eyes looking at a very blank direction) NO JM ITS FINE, IM FINE.. WTF?!?

We met because of a joke, until we got to know each other a little, if she thinks my feelings for her was a joke then heck I'm suffering because of sudden shrugs, sudden coldness, I tried talking to her but the guy will pop out of nowhere and ruin things.. I will confront Blaine later and ask him if they're a couple already or what.. I just can't find the right words on how to say that sometimes I need more time or a little time to be with her and if he's courting her also at least I know, what will I do..

PS: Nanie smiled back at me when she saw frowning.. Well she's part of my past now..

Into Oblivion

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 23:08:24 GMT

I won 3rd place in Solar Fantasy Football, I could have won first place if I activated the Dallas Cowboys Defense/Special Teams in my team, that week they sacked Eli Manning 8 times, had good return yards after a kick off, but no time for regrets, make smart analysis next season..

With that out of the way, all I wanted to say is that 2009 so far hasn't started good for me 2 lates but besides that everything is fine I think.. I'm back doing intern as a workforce monitor, which is fun though kinda though, you'll enjoy seeing new faces asking you something about your schedule, answering phone calls for people who are going to be late or absent packed with the lamest reason possible.. I might be back doing it in a week or 2..

Did I tell you I met someone new? She's nice, kinda mysterious, no issues so far(I think) but lets see what will happen in the next few weeks, I like her I admit that.. The good thing about it is I can be myself around her, telling lame jokes that at least makes her smile and definitely she's smarter than "Batgirl"(I call her Harley Quinn now).. And oh the news with Harley Quinn, everything has really really changed, at least in my stand point.. And with the new girl that I will hide under the pseudonym "Queenie", I think I found someone who will make me smile.. At least I have trusted "wingmen" to guide me.. They say "hi" for me, set me up with something and stuff like that, actually thats how we got started.. Because of some sick joke.. Hahaha.. Thank you Shaun and Blaine..

In a few days we'll be changing our shifts again, I'll bid goodbye to my 630pm-330am and say hello to my 730pm to 430pm shift.. A new supersivor and some new sort of team mates which is definitely familiar because most them are from the early shift also.. With the new schedule looming in the horizon, theres a new thing I wanted to try, since I admit I am a frustrated writer, I would like to try out for Marathon, our company's official news letter.. Do I have what it takes? I don't know.. But I won't know if I don't take the risk right?

Bart, Lhaine sorry if I have to defy you this time.. I have to do it really, after the Harley Quinn thingy, after botching the oppurtunities that I had, have to go after Queenie, hope you don't get mad.. Love you as a friend.. Peace out..

Happy Chinese New Year people!!! PLAY GUITAR HERO!!!

Crash and Burn

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 22:28:30 GMT

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you guys, last week was the most tiring and exhausting week week I ever had, I had lots of overtimes, 2 lates because of oversleeping and traffic, the good thing about it is we got our advance which is now a little less than a thousand bucks now because I treated my cousins at Pizza Hut and me buying the BEST MOVIE OF 2008, The Dark Knight..

Overall Christmas was ok eventhough we all felt the financial crisis that has torn the world, I was kinda cheap this Christmas I wasn't able to buy expensive gifts(yes I did buy expensive gifts last year) to my niece and nephew, instead I buy cheap ones who are in good condition and one of them is a rare toy I purchased for a Php 150.. Christmas always reminds me of my childhood wearing all those new and fancy clothes going to our ninongs and ninangs, titos and titas getting all those money and toys, clothes it was fun, too bad we can't do that anymore because we're all grown up and heck we already have a job, 2 years ago was different my long lost Ninang Amor was present during my mother's wake that she gave me a thousand bucks for all those years we haven't seen each other.. Actually that was the first time we saw each other since I was a baby boy.. Most of all I miss my mother this Christmas..

New Year is coming and I haven't found a swap yet, so whatever happens I do hope I can enjoy whatever my New Year will be.. Most likely my first new year at the office which will definitely suck.. Last year we had a good drink, we had good food, too bad I might not experience it this year, either way we're not that complete this coming New Year's Eve because my Tito Willy and Tita Fe ain't gonna be here because they'll be coming back here in the country come April 09..

Oh yeah, I greeted her Merry Christmas.. She just glanced at me surprised at my greeting.. Things have changed..

Wish me luck, I applied for promotion as Workforce Monitor in our office, and I admit it was part ego that I applied to show her that I'm better off without her.. Either way wish me luck..

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year..

PS: Metro Manila Film Festival Movies? Well gone are the days when we get quality films not a CRAPFEST..

Foolish Games

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 02:03:53 GMT

With a 91-90 lead over my opponent at week 15 of our Fantasy Football League, I'm back in the playoffs(regardless of whatever happens to DeAngelo Williams of Carolina on MNF).. In Fantasy Basketball I'm finally having a very good season, I never had one in all my fantasy basketball games with exemption of the 2006 Champions League Invitational where I represented Solar Entertainment(the network that brought us Basketball TV, JackTV, ETC and Solar Sports)..

The past few weeks are rough, busy with work, though I'm not tired, the schedule I got is great, I can go full 8 hours without hassle(of course I need time offs which we call VTO in our office).. I dont get to see her again which is good, I still love her though, eventhough I know that she has issues that I don't even want to talk about(besides being hooked up with the Joker or Bry or whatever), those issues have turned me off, made me realize that maybe just maybe she's not worth my time, I didn't even bother giving her a birthday gift, didn't even bother greeting her in person during her birthday eventhough I saw her walking alone back then or was taking calls back then, her friends and I talk but I don't talk to her, man I've got issues..

Manny Pacquiao just beat the crap out off my another boxing hero Oscar Dela Hoya, now when he comes back he'll say he did for the country, blah blah blah, he did it for the people, blah blah blah and be the biggest a$$ in human civilization.. I have to give it to Pac though, but for me he's an a$$, now he plans for running the senate in 2010, if he continues to be a puppet of the current administration, he will only doom himself and his future.. When Pac lost all his glory and money do you actually believe that Mike Arroyo, Chavit Singson and the rest will come to his rescue? I don't think so.. If those guys are really into boxing not just for winning big time money in gambling, those guys should help one of our boxing heroes in the past who didn't screw up his life Luisito Espinosa the original Golden Boy..

Hopefully Brandon Vera(former UFC World Heavyweight Championship contender) comes back to the octagon and makes his rise to be a contender again, if he wins a UFC title will he get the same attention, he's pinoy, he's proud of it, and he's not an a$$ unlike Pac..

I just realized that Jewel's foolish games is an excellent song..

Until then..

The Darkness Finds

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 19:32:43 GMT

Last text message you recieved?

Brian ko

I'm in deep shit, wait I'm not in deep shit, I'm once again left shaken and stirred.. All I can do now is hope and pray that the terms of endearment with "brian ko" means they're just close friends but bah! Dammit!!

All I want to do right now come up with some masterplan, and do it, which eventually end up being foiled because she's too smart and she'll find out or because things are really freakin' complicated, with everything and everybody at her disposal, the schedule, her friends and that old hag named brian...

Do I have to accept the fact to see the writing on the wall, that maybe its time to stop and forever, dammit I really lover her, can I keep this going? Am I this crazy? Am I gonna stop everything and eventualy be the victim of my own conceit..

All I have to do now is hope and pray that everything will fall accordingly, and her birthday, well I have a plan with or without the ski mask, comes to fruition.. Oh, she;s dating and her last shopping trip was in SM Lipa somewhere I think in the vicinity of that hag's hometown.. Jealous? Maybe..

Am I going back to the darkness that I don't want to come back to? I really love her yet sometimes I can only do too much, eventhough I haven't done something.. Can't give up though, or is it a good time to do it?

Give me a shot to remember

Sat, 01 Nov 2008 00:28:08 GMT

Good day! Good thing I have this blog as an outlet of everything crazy I've done for years, especially now. Who knows that I will fall in love with my officemate who is an exact opposite of my ideal girl yet I saw something intangible that made me fall for her, at first I thought it was lust, yet I tried taking a bath multiple times, slept tried dreaming of someone yet she was the only thing that is constant, she's always on mind blah blah blah blah I've been through this and lets go on with the story..

This past few days(Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday), I was busy, she was busy I think, I have this design to dress up our Team Manager's station, with minimal help from my teammates(thanks to Boss Guille though, and Aldrich, Miles and Elmer, Joleen and her friend) dammit I have to stop whining now.. The point is, we'll be seeing each other yet no words will come out from my mought not even a single "hi", "hello", or "whats up?", even after we had this conversation(via text, dammit so lame) last Saturday(last week) we didn't utter a single after that..

Last Saturday for me was half forgetful and half unforgetful, I went to my friend's party, she was also invited, the host which is Kat is my long time friend while "Batgirl" was our teammate in July, August and September (we call it a quarter).. I arrived a little late, when she was there all did was give her my lighter so she can light her cig, didn't even bother to say hi and hello until she had to bid her goodbye because she has to go through her crappy schedule, the only words that I uttered was "ingat ka" and so far thats it.. So when everybody's partying after a few minutes that she left I texted telling her to be careful and asked her if she;s home, she told me that she's still in the jeep, I texted her to be careful and text someone or me if she's home, her last text was she was telling me she's home and inform her friend the Kat that she's safe and she was so tired to text them.. So the curious guy in told them and asked Kat if "Batgirl" texted her, she said no, I told Kat "Batgirl" texted me informing me the news and stuff like that.. She was kinda puzzled though I think..

Told you it was half half, with the text message and not talking at all I can't come up with a perfect reason,I maybe paranoid, but I think she's either avoiding me by not talking to me, not smiling at me the way she usually does back then or whatever because she knew full well that I won't turn back and she doesn't like me or she's avoiding because dammit masyado ako assumero nito pero ito isa pang major reason(i think there are a thousand reasons why) na naiisip ko she's avoiding me because theres something going on between us(I mean the possiblity that she likes me too or something or whatever), I dont know, I can't find the answer, can't find the reason to I don't know.. Just help me or better yet NANIE SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: I don't care if you're reading this and by Tuesday morning I have this big slap on my face and a kick in the nuts..

into a place that felt so strong inside

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 07:19:15 GMT

I don't know what title should I give, all I can think of is "sanity"

I'm trapped in your eternity
Hoping to keep my sanity
Tried cowering in my shadow
Only to find my tomorrow

Shall I end my torment?
The pain that kept me bent
The echoes of my desire
Like water burning in fire

I have to stop this plauge
Everything in the world is vauge
Have to make my stand
I don't care if no one understands

Love may have failed me
Stopped my eternal glee
Kept all my pain inside
All of it I tried to hide

Theres no room for sadness
You're the only one who ended my madness
The joy and inspiration of my heart
No obstacle can keep me apart

by JM E�ola