It was her that put me in the state of nervous breakdown all the month of February, it was him that put me in a downward spiral.. After what I thought a very decent Saint Valentine's Day, all was lost, my hope, my efforts, my sense to push forward.. It was Monday morning when Empress told me my friend Lemuel will be her neighbor, so I politely asked her if I can now her unit number, she told me its a secret then I joked that I'll go Lemuel's place and make harana to her, she was so pissed off after that.. I tried analyzing every possible scenarios in why she was furious at me after that joke, then I came up with one, why can't she tell me that I wasn't the man that she wants, the man she wants to be with..  Later I knew through a friend that she called me a stalker, she told my friend I was scary, i look like a guy who is drunk always, i talk in a high pitch(wtf?) and all the possible bullshit that could have broken a man, she even told my friend that she accepted my gifts(flowers and chocolate) during the Valentines so that I won't be humiliated(because someone tipped her of my suprise, much to my surprise also because the surprise that I was planning is known only to a select few who isn't really talking to her that much since she became close to my "friend").  I told my friend to tell her that to tell it to me straight in my face, a few minutes later in one of my drunken episodes she texted me to back off, she doesn't have to say it to my face, and all the negative bullshit.. I only replied I dare you to tell it straight to my face.. 

Maybe she's not worth it, eventhough I still love her, and yes I admit that, I'm that crazy and I have to end everything that has happened, close the book and leave.. If she can tell it sraight to my face then fine, at least I am a man that can accept pain.. For her accusations of me being a stalker, I don't know but if I am a stalker I should have followed her around, instead of being drunk last Monday I should be at her apartment, harrassing her.. If was a stalker I could have gotten her number and address during the times I was doing workforce duties a few months ago, if I was a stalker she wouldn't entertainmen me the past few weeks..  I don't know what to say, I don't know if you guys will believe me either.. Probably my one mistake is that when I make hatid to her in the CR and I suddenly felt the urge to pee also, so I peed at the men's bathroom and when I got out she got out also and opened the door(the other door that hides the bathroom to the call center floor) to her..

Blaine on the other hand, was a once a very good friend, until he betrayed me.. He never told me his intentions to her, its ok if he wants to court Empress to but  at least I have the right to know, he could have told me like a man and tell him may the best man win, some even told me that she could have respected the fact that he could have given space, since I was "making my move" out of respect.. I never even have enough time to tell her everything I wanted to say because he pops out of nowhere.. A few hours ago, Lemuel texted me that their 'MU' now, Empress can't commit yet while that "traitor" is willing to wait, Blaine never told me that, he was ilang to me and my friends, half of the office hates him because of what he did to me..  Forgive him? Yes, someday..  Friendship over..